Of Revenge,Love and Crossdressing
by Pink Leopard
Summary: DC and others. Dilandau's revenge seeking might have gone a bit far this time... Dressed as women he and his men plan to infiltrate a castle, take out as many guards as possible and kill Van Fanel and Allan Schezar. But then something unexpected happens..
1. In Which Dilandau and His Dragonslayers

A/N: Hey guys! I'm back after... a really long time... And this is my first Escaflowne fic! I'm so excited! Also Guimel and Viole aren't in here because... they don't really have a character... Enjoy anyway!

Of Revenge, Love and Cross-dressing 

Chapter 1: In Which Dilandau and His Dragonslayers All Find Themselves Alive

Day broke over the pale Asturian skies and all sorts of forest critters were waking to the sweet morning dew that covered the fresh grass. Among these critters were five young men, all of them 15 years of age, and a large dog like man. They lay in circle; each of them curled up into a fetal position and soundly sleeping a dreamless sleep.

Hours after the day officially broke did the first member of the group wake. The full albino sleepily opened his eyes to the morning light seeping over the forest grounds. The light was warm, yet he was freezing. He began rubbing his arms, trying desperately to warm up.

It was only until he brushed up against his bare legs that he realized the reason for his frozen body. _My uniform...?_

"Jajuk—"he began, only to remember the death of his only soldier.

There was a rustling behind him as a huge fuzzy hand was placed on his bare shoulder. "What is it Lord Dilandau?" Jajuka himself answered. Dilandau almost leaped out of his skin.

"What's going on?! You're dead! I WATCHED YOU DIE!" Dilandau screamed, his voice shrill and distraught. The large dog man yawned, ignoring his master's claims. He was far too sleepy to give a damn this early in the morning.

"Lord Dilandau... where are we?" came another voice from behind Jajuka. Gatty slowly sat up on the wet dew. He was rubbing an eye sleepily and trying hard not to fall back down again. "Gatty...?"

"I think it's obvious we're in a forest" Miguel quipped. He was a bite annoyed of be woken up from his slumber. "Miguel...?"

"Where on Gaea have our uniforms gone?!" came Schesta's panicked voice from his left. The red-faced soldier was trying desperately to cover himself up with whatever he could find. "Schesta...?"

Finally there was a snorting sound coming from his right. Dallet had keeled over with his hands clasped firmly around his mouth and his shoulders shaking slightly. Dilandau raised an eyebrow at his behaviour. "Dallet... is there a problem?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.

Dallet took his hands away from his mouth and burst into a fit of laughter. "I... I'm sorry, Lord Dilandau!" he choked out, "but I never knew..." Dallet was now gagging on his words.

"Yes?"  
  
"I never knew..."  
  
"Yes? T T"

"Th-That you were so small!"

Dilandau's eyes narrowed and he ever so casually walked up to Dallet and slapped him hard across his face. "Dallet..." he began through gritted teeth, "If you even say that again... I'm going to personally do away with you this time!"  
  
Dallet tried hard to keep himself from snickering. "Sure, whatever you..." he say apologetically and then added, "'Big Man.'" Dilandau grabbed the back of Dallet's head and smashed it into the dirt carpet. Dallet's muffled apology could be heard through mouthfuls of dirt.

ololololo

Schesta had managed to cover himself in as much grass and leaves as he was possibly able, so much so that he could've been easily mistaken for a bush. Gatty was trying, and failing, to figure out where they were. Jajuka was looking for food and Dallet was trying to keep himself from laughing. Dilandau sat under a tree Organizing their next plan of action.

Zaibach had fallen... he knew that. He also knew that it was Van Fanel and Allan Schezar's fault. Asturian troupes only knew what he and Miguel looked like and to their knowledge they were both dead. They could attack Asturia and Fanalia and get rid of those dogs. Yet they were without weapons, Melefs or clothes and they were all very hungry. Infiltration was the only answer. All they needed now were disguises.

ololololo

In the air, about 100,000 feet above our Dragonslayers, the Crusade flew towards the kingdom of Asturia, carrying Malerna back from a visit to Fanalia. Her and Allan were helping to rebuild the country and they had also brought along Celena. She was silently watching the world pass by ever wondering what ever happened to Him. 

Gaddes quickly came racing do towards the three of them. "Sir! We've lost some luggage!"  
  
Allan, a bit shocked, stared wide-eyed at his second-in-command. "How?"  
  
"The hatch opened somehow. We're not such why, or even how, but the men are working on fixing it"  
  
"What was lost?" Allan asked.  
  
"Nothing that important... just a couple of dresses I think."

ololololo

Back down on the forest floor, the 'Slayers had listened to Dilandau's plan. It had many gaps in it: how were they going to get in, how are they going to disguise themselves if they didn't even have clothes of their own and so on. Though they already knew that when Dilandau is driven by revenge nothing stops him. 

"So... are the answers just going to fall from the sky?" Miguel asked.  
  
Just as Dilandau was contemplating slapping him for that, pale pink cloth fell from the sky and landed in a clomped pile in front of them. "Clothes!" Schesta exclaimed, excited that he no longer had to pose as a bush. He jumped from his pile of leaves and grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on. When he pulled it out he realized...

"Dresses?" Schesta stated questioningly, separating them one by one. Not even a single pair of pants in the pile.

"Men, this is our disguise!" Dilandau exclaimed.

"We're going to cross-dress?" Gatty questioned.

"Yes! It's the perfect infiltration pan! We'll apply as maids and then slit their throats while they're sleeping!"  
  
Dallet picked up the smooth cloth and made a face of disgust. "The things I do because of loyalty..." he muttered under his breath.

A/N: Well? What do you guys think? This fic was completely influenced by the song Dude Looks Like a Lady by Aerosmith. It's an awesome song go listen to it! Well let me know what you guys thought! RR


	2. In Which Celena Gets a New Handmaid

A/N: ok... so I forgot the disclaimer...

Disclaimer: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Nothing is mine, So please don't sue!

Of Revenge, Love and Cross-Dressing

Chapter 2: In Which Celena Meets Her New Personal Handmaid

Celena was so suddenly interested the flower petals falling in front of her window. They were so beautiful with their colours twisting and turning in the wind. She wanted to reach out and touch them, feel the life from the tree they came from and witness the bringing of autumn—

"Celena?! Are you paying attention?!" Allan's stern voice coaxed her out of her musing. She had asked about Him again and Allan, as always, rambled on about how she should think about him anymore and how he was a bad person. She couldn't help it that she was so curious about him and—

"CELENA!" Allan repeated. Allan always hated to be ignored. She turned her head towards him and put on a small smile.  
  
"I'm sorry brother... I was distracted..." she replied to his calls. Why was he always so upset when she asked about Him? "Could you at least tell me his name?"  
  
Allan's face altered into a complete look of disgust as he turned for the door. "Celena, I'd rather you know nothing of that snake and what he did. I want you to stop thinking about him..." He gave nod to his second-in-command and waltzed out the door.  
  
Celena returned to the window and recovered her earlier musings. She wanted to know who he was...

"Uh... anyway," Gaddes piped up, "We came here to inform you that you have a new handmaid to help you! She just signed on this morning."

Celena groaned. _Not another one..._ All these handmaids were the same old women that have not a thought of their own. '_Your quite right, Miss Celena_', '_Of course, Miss Celena_', '_Are you getting married soon, Miss Celena_?'. She groaned again. marriage was the only they could talk about, and the last thing on her mind.

ololololo

Dilandau and the 'Slayers sat uncomfortably in the maid's quarters. They had been waiting to be called up to their respected places in the castle for a little over an hour now. All they had to do was give their name and age, how much paperwork was needed for that?

Schesta was moving and shifting about uncomfortably in his seat. He couldn't seem to sit upright or retain a lady's posture. His mother always told him slouching would be his demise...

Jajuka's fur was threatening to explode out of the delicate material. He ever wondered how on Gaea he got into the dress in the first place. While smoothing down the front of his dress he noticed Dilandau tapping his foot. That was never a good sign.

Dilandau was beginning to twitch slightly on one side. He had never had to wait this long, not for his enemies, not for his troupes and not even for Zaibach. He played with the scar on the side of his face and was about to launch into rage when...

"Okay, we're finished!" came an excited feminine voice that burst into the room. It was on of the maids or nurses, couldn't tell which one, who had 'blessed' them with her presence. She began handing out little pieces of paper with names of rooms and duties on them.  
  
"This is the room you have been assigned to and the duties you will perform in that room. Only one of you has to take care of a bedroom... What's your name again?" The young lady pointed a finger at Dilandau.  
  
If he didn't want to kill Allan Schezar so bad he would have probably bitten her finger off right then and there. Instead he smiled 'sweetly' and in the most feminine voice possible said, "Oh, it's Dilania, my dear."

"Well, Dilania, please come with me. I'll show you to the bedroom you'll be working in. The rest of you... just hang out with the maids and they'll show you around."

Dilandau was led through a long hallway up a flight of stairs. They were beautifully decorated with portraits and crests of the family, some dating back to 200 years before his time. They stopped in front of a room with a closed door and the maid opened it and let him in. Once in the room she disappeared, leaving him alone with the inhabitants of the room.

"Are you my new handmaiden?" whispered a female voice from the window. Dilandau looked and found no one there.

"Um... miss? Where are you?"

A pair of hands suddenly grasped the windowsill and pulled a body of a young woman inside the room. She smirked at him and Dilandau almost felt... nauseous? He wasn't quite sure what he felt exactly.

"So you're not an old bag... Well that's a relief!" she sighed in an exasperated tone, "I thought I'd never get anyone my own age to talk to."  
  
Dilandau was a bit confused and simply smiled and nodded. "My name is Dilania," he said. The girl cocked her head to one side.

"Is that so? I... feel like I've met you before... Anyway my name is Celena Schezar, pleased to meet you!"  
  
Schezar. That name burned in his ears. "Are you Allan Schezar's sister?"  
  
The girl nodded and smiled sweetly.

ololololo

Dallet's hands were already pruning from the intense amount of water he was being exposed to. His fingers and hands were numb and he could swear that the dirt mark on the white blouse was simply not going away. He turned to Miguel and pouted.

"Why is it that we're doing laundry work when there's a mission to accomplish?!"

"Shh!" Miguel hushed, "You wanna tell the whole Maid's Union about our plan? All we have to do is wait a while and then the plan will go through."  
  
"I sure hope so... I can't take much more of this!"

A/N: well that concludes ch. 2! RR


End file.
